My story ❤️
July 16th, 2016
This week I wanted to share something personal. It’s a story that some of you may know and for others this might be the first time you’re hearing it. It’s a big part of who I am and considering our current circumstances I’m hoping in sharing it that it will bring you a little comfort.
Currently, many of us are trying to adjust to a new way of life, living in a world where we are social distancing from each other and practicing self-isolation measures. For a lot of us, our “regular life” has been put on hold. And it’s scary, stressful and full of many unknowns. I am right there with you. But this isn’t my first experience living in isolation.
In the summer of 2016 I was diagnosed with a rare blood disease called Aplastic Anemia (AA). AA is a blood disorder where your bone marrow goes on permanent vacation and stops making blood cells. For me, I had the severe form of the disease and my body had a difficult time making platelets. By the time I noticed anything symptom wise, my platelet count was non-existent. Less than 5 to be exact. To give you an idea of how depleted my body was, normal platelet values range between 150-450. It took just a matter of weeks from the time I showed any symptoms to the time I was diagnosed.
Pre-diagnosis, my life consisted of the typical things that most working parents struggle with: balancing work while trying to spend time with my family (my son was just 2.5 years old at the time), while running the house and trying to squeeze any bit of time in for myself. I know many of you know the struggle! In just a matter of days my life changed to obsessing with my blood counts, trying to fight off infections, endless blood transfusions, moving to Ottawa (it was the only hospital that could accommodate me for the transplant), chemo, radiation and all of that leading up to a bone marrow transplant. And that was just the start of my journey! I spent 8 months in a hospital, in isolation. Away from most of my family, my son, my friends, my home, my city, my whole life as I knew it. But I did it. I experienced many of the things you all are experiencing right now: fear, anxiety, financial hardship, loneliness and all while I was fighting for my life. The good news is that I made it. I survived.
Even though my journey was not an easy one, I want to let you know I’m immensely grateful for the whole experience. Sounds crazy, right? When we are put through challenges in life we have the opportunity to grow from them. And lets just say I’ve done a whole lot of growing over the years. Was it all rainbows and unicorns? Hell, no! Some parts were downright awful. But overall I learned a lot going through this experience.
This week I’m sharing some photo’s and “word’s of wisdom” so you can learn more about my journey. My hope is that it will give you some assurance that there is a bright light at the end of this journey. Sit back and get ready, this one is a long one 😁
Your mindset is everything.
I’m the type of person that likes to read inspirational material. I’m also a big fan of inspirational speakers, Tony Robbins, Danielle LaPorte, Marie Forleo….It’s a long list so I will save you the read but I get pumped up by other people’s words of wisdom.
Throughout my journey I saved inspirational quotes, that resonated with me, in my phone so on the tough days and there were definitely tough days, I would read them to help inspire me.
In the beginning of my journey I had some pretty intense doctor’s appointments. I met with many doctors from different hospitals, in different city’s and heard my options on the best way to tackle my illness. One appointment will be forever implanted in my memory. I was with my dad and we had a meeting in Ottawa. During this particular appointment I met with my doctor to go over the in’s and outs of what my treatment would entail. They quoted me A LOT of statistical numbers on the success rate of the transplant and let’s just say the numbers were not in my favour. It was a hard appointment to sit through. Not only were the chances of finding a perfect donor match not great but there was an endless list of potential complications and side effects even if the transplant was a success. I left that appointment in tears and cried all the way home from Ottawa. But in that car ride I made a decision. I could let those numbers hang over my head or I could ignore them and focus on my own path. And so that’s what I did.
Did I have a perfectly positive attitude the whole time? No! Of course I had some bad days. And it’s totally normal to have them but I always made an effort to pick myself back up and focus on the good. Sometimes I had to look really hard for it but once you get going, you’ll start to see there are a lot of really great things we can be grateful for, even when our world is crashing down around us.
My first day of chemotherapy.
Do things that bring you joy.
I was officially diagnosed on July 14th, 2016 and was finally released from the hospital on Feb. 22, 2017. I spent the greater part of 8 months in a hospital bed. And that was the initial stage. For the next 2 years being at the hospital just became a part of my weekly routine. How did I manage all of the heavy stuff? I really focused my time on finding things that brought me joy. Have you heard the expression “Laughter is the best medicine.”?
Try to choose more activities that bring a smile to your face. When I was in the hospital it was a little more limiting but I still made an effort. I coloured, tried knitting and crocheting to no success 🤪, reading, playing games, FaceTiming with my loved ones, etc… Do something, at least once a day, that puts a smile on your face.
FaceTiming with my son, Niko. Look how young he is there!
It’s a great time to do a little self reflection.
I will admit before I got sick I felt like I was in a rut. When I was forced to take a break from my regular routine of life I had some time to reflect on it. Being forced to take a step back from your “regular life” gives you time to reflect on what is and isn’t important. Ask yourself what matters to you and what can you live without? Perspective is a powerful thing. It gives you clarity. Take some time to truly think about when things return to “normal” what do you want your life to look like. If you’ve been contemplating some changes, now is the perfect opportunity to explore those.
When I was sick I focused my energy on getting through that but once I had recovered and returned to some “normal” routines of life I made some big changes. One of those changes was I started a brand new practice in a completely different location in the city (which I will say, it’s no small task to start a practice all over again).
From my time in isolation it helped me realize the value of everyday life and I made a promise to myself that I didn’t want to waste my time doing things that I didn’t love. For the record, it doesn’t mean I get excited to pay my bills or clean the house but it does help me when it comes time to making important life decisions. It’s allowed me to “level up” and be a little more choosy to the things I say “yes” to, but in a good way.
Oct. 14th, 2016. After 8 days of chemo therapy and full body radiation I received my sisters bone marrow. I was extremely lucky to have both my sisters be perfect bone marrow matches. It’s super unusual to get one perfect match in the family and I had 2!
Every year I celebrate this day. How lucky am I to have 2 birthdays to celebrate 😉!
Practice self-care.
Self care is different for everyone but here are a few things I did for myself while in isolation: meditation, journaling, blogging, watching a funny show, I walked laps around the the hospital wing, stretched at the end of my bed or it would even be as simple as having a shower, putting on a face mask, giving myself a foot massage, etc. However, I also had days that I did nothing and slept a lot…I had a lot of healing to do. It’s important to give yourself some grace as you navigate through this time.
Self care, in my opinion, is a form of self love. ❤️ Try and think about ways that you can give back to yourself during this time.
That’s me and my chiropractor Dr. Paul. This photo captures some of my time spent in the ICU. It wasn’t a great part of my journey but a part of it non the less. Getting adjusted is an important part of my own personal self care routine. I was extremely lucky to have him come and see me 1-2x’s a week throughout my stay in Ottawa.
This photo was a hard one to post. That’s me and my step-mother Bonnie. We took this photo to celebrate that I was getting a day pass from the hospital. You can tell from the picture I wasn’t feeling great but I made an effort to get my butt moving and get a change of scenery.
The time will come that you will forget about all the painful moments and you will laugh and love life again!
Niko and I enjoying the ride at the Ex. Summer 2018
Obviously I say that because I’m sitting here today writing this blog and sharing my journey with you. And I’m immensely grateful that my story has this ending. I know many people who are given a serious health diagnosis are not as lucky as I. And perhaps if I focused on those numbers that were quoted to me at the beginning of my journey, it might have a different ending?
Sometimes when life is stressful it’s easy to focus on the wrong things. It’s easy to get caught up in the negative and forget about all the things we can be thankful for. I know many of us have different stressors at this time. Whether its financial strains, home life struggles or maybe you are working and trying to homeschool your kids at the same time. Whatever challenge you are facing at this time, know you can get through it.
“She was powerful, not because she wasn’t scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear. ~Atticus”
Hope you enjoyed my story ❤️!